Thursday, 4 April 2013

Confidence

Confidence is a key quality that people need to use throughout their whole life. Sometimes I feel like I lack confidence in certain things like at work, my coursework and just mundane things like driving into town or talking to someone random. But I think that maybe everyone has doubts at some point in their lives.

I've always been quite shy at school, not the first one to answer the questions or take part in something which would result me in being the centre of attention. Throughout primary school (age 5-11) I was fine in my class, actually joined in the school play of Robin Hood, I played the baddie Guy of Gisbon, and enjoyed doing assemblies in front of the whole school. But when I left that comfort zone and went into secondary school, I took a massive step back in my confidence. Perhaps because it was very new and I only knew a handful of people out of a huge school. I disliked drama so much and began to not answer questions in lessons. I did make friends in my form, who are still good friends now seven years on. Despite that my school reports kept coming back with 'we encourage her to participate more in class' I did well in tests and exams, just lacked the confidence to speak in class, fear of getting it wrong or stumbling over my words. I didn't used to start up a conversation with someone I didn't know, without them talking to me first. As I have quite a large family it's sometimes difficult to be heard with some big personalities around you.

Now, I do still lack confidence in doing something by myself but I feel like I've improved over this past year. Starting this blog was a huge decision, putting myself out there for others to see and judge is scary. But I've received loads of positive comments back and none negative (so far!). I also feel a lot more comfortable with my year group now, knowing them all by name and have the confidence to speak up for myself. I still hate hate letting people down. I'm a people pleaser, that's my problem! I'd rather put myself out to help someone else.

One of my main problems with confidence is when driving. I passed my test just before Christmas and spent about 4 months learning in two busy towns nearby to me. After my accident last year which left my car written off and my back a weird for months, it's definitely dented my confidence, although I've never told anyone. Even just driving to town or somewhere during rush hour scares the hell out of me and I can't stop shaking sometimes. I'm still trying to improve my skills by driving different places, so hopefully this will improve my confidence as quite a lot of people say it comes over time.

This year is a big big year for me. Turning 18, going off to college, first holiday away and hopefully first weekend festival. It will definitely test me, but I think I'll be able to cope with it all and adapt to becoming an adult.... ahh scary! So whatever the future has to through at me, now I feel like I can take anything on.

If you got this far thank you so so much for reading!

Rhiannon xxx

P.S After reading this through I was unsure of whether to post it or not, I wanted to share my personal fight with my confidence. But after reading other bloggers who have similar experiences, it feels good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this!

2 comments:

  1. I was the same in primary school! Totally fine, was in the drama club and everything. Then secondary school came and I was like a mouse, so strange! I don't think I truly came out of my shell til after I left uni (because I hated uni haha) and now I'll talk to anyone. I think it's definitely true that confidence comes with age and I think that writing a blog really helps too xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I was exactly the same! I totally agree that writing a blog helps, don't think I'll be getting rid of it soon! xxx

      Delete

Thank you so much for commenting! I appreciate every single one. I'll reply to them as soon as possible. Tweet me at @RhiannonBlog with any comments or tips about my blog, questions or anything just in general. Also leave your blog link as I love checking out new blogs! xxx

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...